I had the distinct pleasure of sitting in a group meditation that was created recently in our immediate community with a number of beautiful and very inspiring human beings, some of which I know very well, and some I have recently just met.
The evening left me with the feeling of wanting to be doing WAY more, knowing I am fully capable, and reminding me that nothing will happen without the practice of practice.
Even just sitting down to breathe properly has to be an initiated experience for me these days.
When life hands you a daily dose of anxiety/stress and your breath is so often caught up in your chest, the act of putting your hand to your belly and directing your breath downward is what it takes place instead of an autonomic spiral…..it is what has to happen for it to make it anywhere in my body these days. A practice to put my hand there and not continue the shallow chest breath, the recipe of what life has been serving up lately.
But when you have fallen so far out of a habit, returning to it can be difficult and awkward/ having to down multiple cups of caffeinated tea so you can sit quietly and meditate with your friends around you is laughable, but I tell you thats what it takes sometimes for me to calm down…..
I am practicing what it is to practice once more. My days in this past week have been filled with very foundational and fundamental routines in my diet, which has me reflecting on the ways in which our diet and routines are so linked to the way in which we feel throughout our day, highs and lows, and balance within the emotional realm.
There was a point when I was living in California, that I was really thriving in my body, working on a farm and studying herbs that helped to heal and nourish pieces of my body and spirit. I left that experience with a deep sense of knowing remembering that feeling deep within my spirit, it has carried with me all these years of living quite a different life.
So revisiting this, is actually just a remembering and an awakening of deep seeded knowledge and practice from a life that was not so long ago. Woman! It feels good! It makes me wonder how I ever found myself on the other side of this practice in the first place.
Tonight I begin another weaving intensive with my own teacher that has taught me so much in the way of relationship to pattern and structure and fun within this space, and I couldnt be more excited to show up for myself in the realm of learning and placing myself in the ground to sprout and blossom once more.
I am practicing the practice of showing up for me and supporting myself in these hectic crazy sometimes terrifying times, in all the ways I can, and it makes me feel calm and collected.